A Light-Hearted Look At

Alaska- Bears, Eagles, Killer Whales, Glaciers, 

And Humpback Whales Bubble Net Feeding.

Little did I realise when I arrived at the club on Tuesday evening that my sleepless nights would be over. No, I did not doze off during the presentation.
It was the answer to my horticultural nightmare. How was I going to get my grass cut. It is still growing thanks to the warm weather and the rain, but it is too wet to mow it. So it was great revelation to find that Bears ate grass, who knew?
Well obviously Derek Howes DPAGB did and probably Sir David Attenborough. 
So I have ordered a couple of Bears from ebay, you’re probably thinking why doesn’t he buy some sheep they do the same thing, well they tend to poo anywhere and you have to pick it up, or you tread in it and it gets walked all over the house. Where as Bears, as we all know go in the woods. We have got a few trees over the road, so I can let them through the fence a couple of times a day they can do the business and come back. This will give our local burglars something to think about.
 Of course they do hibernate, this is not too much of a problem as the grass hardly grows in the winter, but where do they hibernate? Derek Howes DPAGB was very vague on this point and Sir David nevers answers his emails. Then I remembered a documentary series when I was growing up about a couple of Bears in one of America’s famous National Parks Jellystone, where did Yogi & Boo Boo hibernate? I think it was in one of chalets in the park when the visitors had left for the winter. I haven’t got room for one of those in the garden but I have got a spare room, so I will chuck a couple of bales of straw in there, and turn up the central heating. It seems there is no need for a Midwife or Gas & Air or Epidurals.
As Bears cannot live on grass alone, I thought with a bit of  investment I could introduce fish into their diet by re landscaping the garden, construct a stream a small waterfall and a water pump, then a couple of times a day I would throw in a few Goldfish at the top of the stream a let them drift downstream for the Bears to feast on.
I could recoup the money I have spent by charging photographers to come and photographing the Bears fishing, we have also got a few Magpies that come into the garden, just to make it a bit more authentic.
This will be a lot cheaper and more comfortable than spending a couple of weeks on a cramped boat in the freezing cold.
All I need now is to come up with a plan to accommodate a few Humpback Whales, my local fishmonger tells me he can get me as much Krill that I need. 
    
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